Feelings of Loss
by Monica Ronovitch
Summary: Poem in four stanzas free verse from the points of view of Will, Lyra, Kirjava, and Pantalaimon from the His Dark Materials Trilogy WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS


_For those who don't know what happened to Will and Lyra: They were forced to leave each other and live in their own worlds because each time_ W_ill used the Subtle Knife to open a window to another world, he created a Specter, (creatures that feed on people's souls_/dæmon_ and intellect). In order to save people in all universes, Lyra and Will promised to go to the Botanic Garden every_ _Midsummer's day and sit on a specific bench, to be together, even if it's only in spirit. Pantalaimon is Lyra's dæmon, and Kirjava is Will's dæmon._

These are poetic expressions, about the pain they feel from being separated from each other. Will and his dæmon Kirjava are in his world, and Lyra and Pan are in her world. Both are on the bench in their world, because it is Midsummer's Day…

Disclaimer: I do not claim any ownership of any of these characters- they come from Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials Trilogy, plus Lyra's Oxford.

I. _From Will_  
Oh, Lyra! This is too much for me to bear-  
I shouldn't have broken the knife, I need to see you again.  
Lyra! I don't even know if you can hear me,  
But I'm sitting on the bench in the Botanic Garden,  
And I miss you so much… Please, Lyra, my love,  
Remember me, please, don't forget me, and please,  
Even if you forget my name, don't forget  
The times that we had together, don't lose  
The memory of that day when we were together  
In the world of the Mulefa, the day we saved their trees,  
The day we went to our own China…  
I still love you, Lyra, I always will…

II. _From Lyra  
_Will! This en't how I wanted us to be-  
I wanted to wake up with you every morning,  
To be able to kiss you every day.  
Oh, Will! This hurts so much, I dunno what to do,  
I miss you with every cell of my being,  
I'm here at that bench in the Botanic Garden, and I pray  
That in your world, you're here too, because I miss you  
So much, I wish I could see you again,  
And then this wouldn't hurt so much…  
This loneliness, it en't like anything I've felt before,  
But I bet it's what it feels like to have your dæmon cut away.  
I miss you so much Will, I miss you so much that it's all I can say…  
I still love you, Will, I always will...

III. _From Pantalaimon  
_Kirjava! Oh, my Kirjava. How I miss you so!  
My darling, oh, how I miss you! My dear Kirjava!  
My heart breaks to no longer be at your side,  
I miss your sweet smell, your beautiful fur,  
Oh, your fur! Never in my world have I seen,  
Never in my world will I see again,  
A cat or dæmon with fur of the night like yours.  
I miss you so much, Kirjava. I miss you, I love you.  
My lonesome self, it is nothing without you by my side.  
My eyes long for the sight of your fur-  
Its blacks, blues, purples that I can't describe.  
Kirjava, my beautiful cat, you make me whole.  
I miss you Kirjava, I love you.

IV. _From Kirjava  
_Oh, Pan, my Pantalaimon, oh, how I miss you!  
My Pan, I love you, I miss your times with me,  
No longer do I see you, your red-gold fur,  
Pan, I miss you. Remember when Lyra and Will left us,  
When they left us on the docks in the world of the dead,  
And we only had each other to care for,  
When it was only you and I,  
And we wandered through worlds together?  
And never, never, never again will I run wild,  
Never again will I run wild with the greatest pine martin in the universe.  
I miss you, Pan, I miss you, and I will never  
Never, never forget you, and I will love you forever,  
Forever, always, for eternity, I will love you.  
I will always love you, Pan, Pantalaimon, my soul mate.

_Please review- yes, I do know that they say that they miss each other and love each other so much, but I felt it necessary to include it so many times because they feel like their hearts are being ripped out. UMM… for a better description of the story, I suggest you read the books, because they are THE BEST book trilogy EVER._


End file.
